the cold one part one

Whenever I was younger my dad would say the same thing, after I had one of my many nightmares, “Nothing will happen to you. I will always be here.” As I look around the two bedroom apartment I know he never will be back, it is impossible. He died right in front of my eyes. I still have nightmares every night that I fall asleep. Every time I fall asleep I think that the man in black is going to walk through my door again, and kill the two people that matter to me. My little brother and sister which were curled up on the on twin mattress, sleeping peacefully for the first time this week. It was, depending on how you looked at it, fortunate that I got adopted by a nurse from the hospital, and I found them, they pulled me out of my depression. My mom was kidnapped right after my dad died, I haven’t seen her since, but I never stop searching. Every day I travel to the grocery store or school or daycare, I look hoping to catch a glimpse of her beautiful brown hair, and hazel eyes that always had love buried deep inside of them.
“Alyssa, Alyssa.” Ian, my little brother calls out to me, searching for my presence that would make him feel safe enough to fall asleep in this place we have to call home. I looked over at him to find the same blond haired blue eyed three year old boy staring me at with fear in his eyes. I inched closer to him, being careful to not wake Hannah my four year old sister, wrapping my hands around his thin body, I pulled him close, as I whispered into his hair.
“Everything is fine, I am here. She can’t hurt you ever again. I will always be here to protect you from her. Go to sleep, like I promised the first day I met you, I will not sleep. I will protect you no matter what. Sleep.” I continued whispering that everything would be alright, and eventually he fell asleep in my arms, carefully, so not to wake him, I layed him down on the bed, tucking him in, and sliding off the bed. I knew tomorrow was going to be a long day, since I had to convince my coach to help me with them. My foster mom is not who she seems. At work she is nice as can be, but at home it is a completely different situation. She still calls me girl, and expects me to take care of these kids. After the first day when she didn’t feed them, I knew it was my duty to protect them from her, from life.